Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I'm Going Home In July

Letter To Leave EAP NZ Early (End of the 1st Semester)

Over the Mid-Semester break I traveled a full circle around the South Island and it was simply breathtaking and wonderful... But, I had an epiphany while there and I realized that this vacation although wonderful could only last so long and should have an end at some point.



These are the reasons for why I believe I should leave at the end of the first semester:

1. I went for the wrong reasons. I came to get away from everyone, but I realize now I had built up and was working towards great things at home and I just abandoned it all for naïve aspirations. I believed I would start a new life here or something ridiculously lofty, but this country is not suited for these goals of mine.



2. It feels like a vacation, a distraction. I feel somewhat silly (or almost ungrateful) saying that, but I really did come here to make something of myself, not just sightsee. The classes are interesting and fun, but next semester I'd only be allowed to take one upper-division class plus one lower-division filler class. I'd have more time to travel and traveling is amazing and worthwhile and breathtaking, but I came here to be challenged and that isn't happening.



3. The film situation is not what I thought it was going to be. When the first day you get to Wellington and you are attending protests against the closure of the Film department, something is definitely not going well. I knew that this school wasn't a technical school, neither is UCSB, but there isn't even any support structure for those who want to get into filmmaking. And in my experience with the kiwi students they do not seem at all interested in producing works. When I asked a few students how to work on anything in this town they replied, "Get an agent or hope that you know someone." All of this was truly devastating considering it is why I wanted to come here in the first place.



4. I'm not a city person, and it makes no sense logically to leave the city every weekend (economically it isn't possible either). I want to be generally happy the whole time, not wait until the weekends to get some sort of fulfillment.

Shouldn't I enjoy my time in the place I live?

5. The social scene is not my cup of tea (alcohol). I've discovered that most of the social scene in Wellington revolves around cafes in the day and going to bars and clubs at night. I have tried to find the fun in this scene, but I've mostly discovered that it's expensive and shallow.



I do not believe my time here has been wasteful, but due to the points listed above I do not find it fruitful to continue my time here. I've tried to face the disappointments with confidence and perseverance, but this is a time where I should just cut my losses and move on.



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So there it is. I'm done with class June 9th and then go to Japan for two weeks then I am in home in July and then I go back for summer session B.

3 comments:

jasminetheagnost said...

You should just leave Wellington and move to Dunedin. The South is killer in this country :) Wellington is for yuppies etc. Dunedin is for people who like film and nature and not being all hectic and shit.

Steven Ray Morris said...

ahaha Actually I did do a road trip around the South Island and it changed my life to be quit honest, but it served a particular purpose. But I will be happy to return someday.

Steven Ray Morris said...

*quite